The power of expanded consciousness to heal and erase traumas
It is more than 10 years ago. After my very first trauma session, I was pretty shocked and overwhelmed.
Shai Tubali, the developer of the Expansion Method (formerly known as the White Light) had guided me through a life-changing process.
When Shai Tubali, my teacher and developer of the Expansion Method (formerly known as the White Light) gave me my very first trauma session, I was pretty shocked and overwhelmed. I couldn’t know how much damage a single event can create in one’s psyche and I was not even aware of most of the influences and effects it had on me before the session. The traumatic event was registered in me as a very painful moment, one that I knew must have reshaped the way I was seeing things but I didn’t have the slightest clue how wide and deep it went. The traumatic event I worked on was a moment from my childhood, when my father beat me up after coming home 30 minutes later than I was supposed to.
Many times, we don’t even call certain events as trauma because we believe that traumas are only those „big“ or „serious“ events like war or rape or physical violence or an accident or sudden death of a loved one. But truly, most of our traumatic events are much less dramatic and colorful. It can be something almost banal, that other people might not consider as trauma at all, but for you, it was a devastating moment, one that imprinted itself in your system and created a chaos. For example, one of my clients worked on a moment from her childhood, when she came home from school, very proud and excited after receiving a very good mark in a test and wanting to share her joy with her mother, and her mother did not react at all and only asked her if someone else did better her on the test. This was a tiny moment in time, but the imprints and scars it had left on my client were many.
Who we think we are and many of our behavioral patterns are partly the unconscious outcome of such moments, and unless we go through such a memory with very clear awareness, and manage to clear these imprints away, we will remain with unresolved pain and be prisoners of our past.
What is Trauma?
So, what is trauma according to the Expansion Method? Trauma is a shock of weakening, meaning any situation in which temporarily or essentially someone or something stronger than us overpowered us. It could be either another person or a group of people but it can also be a force of nature (storm, tsunami or earthquake) or external circumstances. When we see trauma in this way, many moments in our lives can count as traumatic moments and need to be addressed. But people don’t like to talk about these things, we prefer to keep things repressed or just try to forget about it, and sometimes it even seems to work, at least for a while. But the problem with unresolved trauma is that it has its way to sneak up on you and control you from behind the scenes, from the depth of your subconscious. And even if you try to treat the symptoms, that you sometimes cannot even connect with any certain event, you can do that some level of success but never cut off the root cause, unless you really address that moment of weakening directly.
When I went through my first trauma session, one of the things that shocked me the most was to realize how much unconscious activity was taking place in my inner world during such a moment. In a traumatic moment, we are not present, we cannot think clearly or rationally and our perception of the world, others and especially ourselves gets twisted.
Many times, the fear, pain or helplessness are so severe that we even prefer not to be present. In such moment of a violation, we humans are wired to shut down higher-order neural functions and fight, flee or freeze in order to survive the threat.
And that happened to me too, I froze in that moment of great loss and pain. When my father took his belt out to hit me, I totally froze and stopped breathing to try and feel as little as possible. But maybe the worst thing that I had to face while doing the session was the feeling of getting disconnected from myself, becoming so vacant and empty of any self-presence. Seeing myself overcome by fear and grief was scary for me because in that moment of being not present all the irrational ways of thinking and feeling could find their ‚way in‘ and leave their undeniable imprint on me.
A hidden treasure – our consciousness
So, trauma is an severe moment of weakness, an instant of lack of presence. During the session, while I was guided into the memory and answering all the questions about it, I couldn’t have imagined any resolution or improvement. I just wanted it to stop and escape the whole thing. It was like feeling that painful event all over again, only worse because this time I was becoming aware of all the destruction it had left in my system. When I was asked to give a general name to the trauma, after going over the whole event, piece for piece, I could only call it: „painful destruction“. My heart was shuttered and my body ached.
At this point, I was guided to start expanding the feeling of pain and destruction. In the Expansion Method, we work with negative emotions and with the power of our breathing and inner vision we can gradually move from dense and unpleasant states into bright, peaceful, clear and joyous ones. In only a few minutes my state transformed from „painful destruction“ to bliss, presence and inner power. I couldn’t believe this shift that took place in me, I was again overwhelmed but this time in an ecstatic way. It felt like I was getting in touch with an inner state that was forever free of any trauma, a state of pure joy and absolute trust. It felt like I was getting further and further away from any negative memory and my mind, body and emotions were flooded with light. For me, it was already enough, I didn’t need any more than that.
But then came the really surprising turn, and it was when I was asked to go back to the traumatic memory once again and see it from this free and powerful state of consciousness. The event itself did not change at all, including the extreme and harsh circumstances of it, but what was different was me! I was not the same. I was totally present, open, connected to myself and to something far bigger and more powerful than I could ever be. It was like walking through fire with my head up and my back straight without getting burned. And with each step I was taking through this traumatic memory, it felt as if I was rewriting the whole thing as if this time, I was the author and the director of this scene. We removed all the damaging imprints, false ideas and beliefs that were created within me many years ago, and I became freer and lighter. This memory that was causing me so much pain and agony, was turning into a moment of victory, of overcoming.
Finding a new meaning is a key to healing
Many academic scholars in the field of psychology and positive psychology claim that what turns trauma into a moment of growth is the meaning we give it. When a person who went through trauma can make sense of the traumatic event, and create a sense of meaning and purpose, it promotes resilience and post-traumatic growth by increasing optimism and self-esteem. It is established that those who find meaning in the event recover better than those that don’t. If one is left with the feeling that not only the event was devastating but it had no meaning, it can make it so much harder to mend and improve later on. We cannot know the reason for any event since to some degree we have no control and lack the insight and understanding of our course of events. Still, when we are invited to find a positive and self-fostering meaning in a traumatic moment, even retrospectively, and can see the hidden opportunity of growth, the way we remember the events transforms.
Before I went through the trauma healing session, I couldn’t see any meaning. I just blamed myself and the world for my misery and felt it was just a cruel and unjust world. But after the expansions, and after reaching a free and blissful state, I had access to a different point of view and a deep feeling that everything in our lives is embedded with meaning. I did not doubt that what previously seemed to be almost random and arbitrary was indeed full of purpose – the soul’s yearning for growth and awakening. I could see that my lesson was to remain open-hearted in every situation, even when I feel threatened and attacked. I could feel that the heart can remain untouched and that I can stay connected to myself and my presence no matter how hard the situation is, and this was such a precious gift of meaning.
This new found meaning was the last empowering step in the session and in only two hours I was simply free from this memory forever. What remained from this event was a positive and powerful feeling. Every time I revisit this memory and check my feelings about it, I find nothing but a deep gratitude and compassion towards myself and the one’s involved. I know deeply that everything is moved by and filled with love, and I feel a very different sense of trust, one that I didn’t have before. So traumatic moments could be the source of misery and pain in our lives but they can also be a great source of empowerment and growth, it depends on what we do with it and how we treat it. After my process I chose to become an instructor in the expansion method and to help others go through these healing and transformative processes and I do it for the last twelve years. There is no greater satisfaction than seeing others go through the same journey from pain and loss into peace, light and joy.
Do you want to learn the complete process of Expansion for Trauma Release so you can use it for yourself or with your clients as a therapist?